Heartbreak

What do these seemingly disparate, but unpleasant, experiences have in common?

There is a significant amount of pain, and it’s caused by your mind trying to get you to do something to that can’t be done.

The pain is significant because your mind is reading the person, the money and/or the approval as essential to survival.

And what it’s trying to do, that can’t be done, is undo the past.

⇦ It wants to bring the person back into your life,

⇦ it wants to get your money back,

⇦ and it wants to get an enthusiastic response to your creations.

This part of mind is atemporal – here, everything is happening at once. The bigger the emotional impact of an event, the more indelible the impression it leaves. This means that your mind reads the event as still happening, or about to happen.

These deeper, unconscious parts of your mind are stuck ‘back there’ (think trauma and PTSD). So it makes that those parts of mind believe that what has happened can un-happen.

Making it un-happen is exactly what your mind is trying to do –

??????? it has interpreted the loss as life-threatening.

? Now it’s in Superman mode, it’s on a mission … ?

… to get your lover back in your life, to get your money back and get the validation you desire.

When mind wants you take action, it generates emotion. You experience this as preoccupation, regret, endless ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys.’

So it’s not just, ‘I’ve lost something or someone, and it hurts’,

it’s more,

‘I’ve lost someone or something or someone that is essential to my survival, and I MUST get them back NOW.’

???? ??? ? ???

Whenever I meet with people who are troubled by these kinds of experiences, the first thing they ask is, ‘What can I do? I’ve got to do something!’

Actions that they take from this place will be most likely make things worse.

??????????

These three circumstances have one thing in common, they are all forms of heartbreak.

When I lost money through trading, I couldn’t work out how to get beyond the pain, self-hatred and regret. I tried everything. I was in contact with many traders, coaches and personal development people, but it didn’t help. None of them could shed any light on why losses cause such stuckness.

When I viewed my experience through the lens I am describing here, the whole sad story made sense. I could understand what had happened to me and why I couldn’t just ‘let go’.

More significantly, it also showed me how to get clear of it. The end was in sight. I could see land ?.

This is based on the Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT) way of doing things The Institute for Rapid Resolution Therapy, Inc.

Tomorrow I’ll write about how you used this to perspective to move beyond losing a lover, losing money and creative setbacks.

As Dr. Jon Connelly (founder) always says, when we talk about how mind works, we are not claiming the Truth. No one knows (still). We are describing the framework we use to clear people of discomfort, pain and trauma.