People don’t come to me saying,
‘I’d really like to clear the emotional impact of financial losses.’
They come because they are in pain.
They don’t say,
‘I would like to stop being so disturbed by the outcomes of decisions I have made, which I have been perceiving as a failure.’
Even though this is what I do.
They come because they are exhausted by trying to deal with it alone. They come because their relationships are suffering under the burden of secrecy and preoccupation.
The wisdom of getting clear, of letting go
We understand the wisdom of getting clear so that we can move on. We understand intellectually that this will help us look at our situation as it is, instead of through the lens of what might have been. We know we’re less likely to repeat an experience if we dissolve the emotional glue that makes it feel like it’s part of us.
Even so, it feels like an impossible task, and the feelings of regret and self-reproach have become familiar, like a worn-out pair of slippers. For these reasons, we often just hunker down and hope for the best.
Even believing that someone can get you to this place of being OK with what’s happened can be quite a challenge. Intensely unpleasant experiences, optimism and mental clarity aren’t often found in bed together.
The situation usually feels more like this:
➜ sense non-specific of doom or dread
➜ hopelessness and despair
➜ lack of trust in self
➜ secrecy
➜ counting on a miracle
It is possible to get clear of all of this before you’ve repaired your finances or undone any perceived damage to your social standing
In fact, it’s much easier to recover once you have cleared out the emotional impact of what has happened.
There’s a pervasive value system that tells us we must be a near-constant mission of self-improvement. Maybe that works for you – for me, it made things 10x worse.
You can feel infinitely better before you’ve changed your life circumstances. This is because you are way more than your money, your job, your house or nay of the rest of it.
I learned the long way round and wasted a lot of time and money in the process. You don’t have to.
